My Wanna-Be World

Tarzan's Folly

2011-05-23T08:54:00.000-07:00

So last Sunday, Molly, me and Tarzan were a few minutes late to church. The opening song had just started. It was a farewell and so it was pretty packed. Molly and I looked to our "regular spot" and it was taken. Tarzan had to make a pit stop and so we went ahead and found seats in the front-center of the chapel. Well, Tarzan, with all of the grace of a monkey in a china store, went to our regular spot, climbed over (in front of) an elderly gentleman, plopped down, put his arm around a woman and squeezed her knee. He then looked into her face and saw that no, it wasn't me. Molly looks at me and says "what is dad doing?" Well, the horror on his face was priceless. Probably the horror on her face would have been twice that. Two rows of people saw what was going on and were pretty much hysterical through the opening prayer. And the question is, did he get up and move? Nope. Just texted the bishop and said "sorry I didn't know it was your wife."

Afterwards, I saw Diane (the bishop's wife) and said, ooh, now you know, no givesies backsies, right? He's yours!

An entertaining sabbath story I want to keep for posterity!

MY FAVORITE THINGS #2

2011-01-24T16:57:00.000-08:00

Tarzan surprised me this year with an after-Christmas gift of a Kindle.

I love to read. So very much. More than almost anything.

And I mean ANYTHING.

Not one of my daughters has caught this obsession!

I think it started because growing up in a small town,

in the summer there wasn't tons to do.

We went to the library. A lot. We went swimming. A lot.

You alternate the two, and you get a lot of swimming and reading

done in the summertime. Perfect summertime activities.

Anyway, so yes, I still do love the library,

the book sections of Costco and Barnes & Noble,

but I love my Kindle a bit more.

With the push of a button, I can download FOR FREE

all of the classics I wish to read.

For one dollar to ten I can download others.

So Ruthie, my oldest sissie, suggested my first

"purchased" book be "Same Kind of Different As Me".

It's a true story, written by Ron Hall and Denver Moore.

I love love love this book. I'm so very glad it was the

first "big" purchase (I think five or six bucks) because

it was worth every penny. I'll read it again. And again.

So that's how I'm spending these cold winter nights.

8:30 and I'm in my onesie pajamas with my Kindle

in my own little bit of Heaven!

MY FAVORITE THINGS

2011-01-23T10:50:00.001-08:00

Okay, Oprah has her favorite things. I have mine.

My son-in-law says I exaggerate. Maybe I do, a bit.

Like the time I took him to the rib place that I promised he would just die for.

Well, he only thought they were "okay".

He thinks it would be great to be me because to me everything is AMAZING.

I don't really believe that. It's just that when I find something I LOVE,

I want EVERYONE to know about it.

So now, what I want everyone to know about, are the PJs

I bought for my family for Christmas Eve.

Let me preface it by the negative so you don't think I think everything

about them are "amazing".

I was not too keen on their price.

or when I had to return a few of them for a different size and had to pay

an additional shipping price, a whopping $14.

That is a lot of moola at that time of year, heck at any time of year.

Then I zipped up my onezies. Yep, I said it. Polar fleece onezies on my

5'10 x and almost 5'10" frame. It just felt like one big love hug. I never

want to get out of these. I'm afraid they'll have to bury me in them.

I come home from work and zip them up and good golly it's the best feeling in the world.

I swore after I paid the high price for them and exhorbitant shipping charge

that I would never buy from the company again.

I digress. I will. Again and again. I will never be without these jammies.

I will have them for as long as I live.

So, if you want to have a big warm hug, ignore the exhorbitant

prices, take a deep breath, and order from jumpin' jammerz.com.

P.S. My husband calls them my chastity jammies. I don't know whether that's

a good thing or bad thing.

(P.S. #2: Today was a chilly winter day. I was leaving church and excited to go home and throw on my jammies because it was so cold today. I walked in the door and Tarzan was laying on the couch with MY JAMMIES on. I was confused, the dogs were even MORE confused. My jammies are pink with dog paw prints and smell of me, I'm sure. They didn't like seeing him in them, and neither did I! I bought him a pair with guitars on them at Christmas time. Well, apparently they challenged his manhood so he made me send them back. NOW, mine look awfully warm and cozy so he decided to try mine. Yeah, that's right, he WISHES he'd a been more sure of his testosterone. Needless to say, it was a struggle, but I did get my jammies back.)

RESURRECTION TIME!

2010-03-30T19:49:00.001-07:00

No, I'm not talking about Easter and the "ultimate" resurrection. I'm talking about the bringing back to life something that's been in the corner of the basement for way over fifteen years. drum roll please . . . my treadmill. It broke down and I could never bring myself to give it away or throw it away. So, this last weekend, Tarzan BROUGHT IT BACK TO LIFE!!!! Of course, the digital stuff doesn't work, so I can't see how SLOW I GO but I'm okay with that. I won't be able to tell if my burning legs are only burning about two calories a minute and I'm okay with that too. It would probably be depressing so I'm thinking ignorance is bliss. Two days now in a row that I've given it a work out (it has to be a work out on it as well as me). They say to work out with a friend and I'm considering this treadmill my very old friend. I hope to find time for this friend several times a week. Since my April 15th goal is coming up, and I've lost . . . okay, NOTHING, at least I'll have started to exercise a bit. Hey, anything is better than nothing, right? So, bright and early, think of me, with my loud (fifteen years ago they were not quiet) friend with calves burning. Go back to sleep for me, please.

PATRIDGE FAMILY CHEESEY? REALLY?

2010-03-15T07:46:00.000-07:00

So last weekend Tarzan and I and Molly took a quick trip to Las Vegas. En route, I was the Entertainment Director (ipod music management) and I thought I was doing a really great job. Tarzan took a phone call that was fairly long (thirty minutes) and so I put on the stuff that he doesn't care for but I like until he was finished. This would include Ambrosia, Carly Simon, Madonna, etc. He got off the phone and I immediately put on his driving faves, i.e., Kenny Chesney, The Eagles, and his all time favorite - Billy Joel. Then I switched to a few of my favorite oldies, in particular, a number by The Rasberries called "Go All the Way." Okay, this has some great rock and roll parts in it that I really love. What was his comment?

Tarzan: Who is this? (in a snarly way)

Me: The Rasberries

Tarzan: Hesitation, then "This is SO PARTRIDGE FAMILY CHEESEY!"

Me: "But what about this part - it's so cool."

Tarzan: "It's SO CHEESY. Do you really like this stuff?"

Me: I'd like to introduce myself. I'm Laurie Russell.

Tarzan: No sound, only rolls his eyes.

So, apparently my husband does not know the full gamut of music that I adore. My ipod has everything from Bay City Rollers (MAJOR EYE ROLL), to AC/DC and everything in between. I quit my job as Entertainment Director and turned the ipod over to Molly. Apparently, she doesn't have PARTRIDGE FAMILY CHEESEY TASTE.

And, just for the record, I do not nor ever will have David Cassidy OR the Partridge Family on my ipod.

Nixon

2010-03-14T15:46:00.000-07:00

MY LATEST DRUG OF CHOICE

2010-02-24T07:48:00.000-08:00

Wow. I've recently come to the conclusion that I have a very ADDICTIVE personality. I just didn't realize it until my latest drug-of-choice caught hold of me and didn't let go. What drug you ask? Yarn. Yeah, I know, it's way granny-like, but on a recent girls weekend one of my BFFs taught me how to make the CUTEST hats and now it's become an addiction. I can't go to bed without having made one. I think about different colors/types of yarn during the day. If I come within 100 yards of Roberts or Michaels or JoAnns I'm toast. I lose control. But aren't these the cutest things EVER?!!! I figure it's healthier than true drugs or alcohol but I'm not sure it's much less expensive! And the embellishments. They are like the icing on the cake. Oh, great, now I'm thinking about cake. Anyway, I'll post a few so you can start to understand WHY I CAN'T STOP.

p.s. That's why I've been so lame about blogging. It's the drug taking over. Any spare time I have you can find a crochet needle in my clutches.

NEW NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION! GET CONTROL!

2010-01-20T12:35:00.001-08:00

In my world, I have realized that I don't have control over much, if anything. I don't have control over world peace. I don't have control over the health care quandry. I can live with that fact. What I don't understand is why I don't have control over my piddly, every day things. First, I don't have control over my housework. Just when I think I've got it ALMOST under control, BAM! something in my mind changes my FOCUS! Baxter, Scooter and Marley KNOW I don't have control over them. I can lecture and lecture and they don't listen. They just go back into the garbage can, sniff out something disgusting, and drag it through the house. My girlies listen about as well. I'll mention to one or the other "have you seen my MAC eyeliner?" Answer: (in a high, sweet, almost squealie voice) "No. uh, uh." The next morning, wow, a miracle has occurred, said eyeliner is on the bathroom counter. I'll lecture and lecture and NO ONE cares! One of my favorite books is "The Ladder of Years" by Anne Tyler. Whenever I pull this book out my husband is on alert. It's about a middle aged woman whose family pretty much just doesn't see her. She has control over absolutely nothing. Her family goes on vacation to a beach house on the coast and while they're at the beach she takes a walk and just keeps walking . . . yep, just keeps a going. So, Tarzan, knowing the plot of this book, tends to take notice when it's pulled out at bedtime. I guess as long as he notices that, I'll give him credit! Something else that hinders my "control" are silly sitcoms. I can be focused on a cleaning task and if an episode of King of Queens comes on that I'm especially fond of, even though I can say the lines verbatim, I'll stop what I'm doing and once again, lose control of my tasks!!! I'd have done better with the control/focus thing if I'd lived in the days of early television where you had three channels to choose from and plan your day accordingly. Today, I can find something EVERY HOUR OF THE DAY . It's a BAD habit that I've got to get control over. So, in my venture to lose said bad habit maybe I'll gain a little control. A little less Doug Heffernan might help me get a little more control.

LET THE RESOLUTIONS FLY (and hopefully not nosedive into oblivion)

2009-12-30T20:59:00.000-08:00

How can I formulate my resolutions into something that will actually stick around in my Christmas-goodie infested brain? Make resolutions that I CAN stick with. Here's my first three to start the year off with a BANG.

RESOLUTION #1: Only have gravy or other fattening sauce on "special" occasions. (and no, just because SA-TUR-DAY has three syllables does NOT make it a special occasion)

RESOLUTION #2: Absolutely no eating past 12:00 midnight or before

1:00 a.m.

RESOLUTION #3: Remember it's Portion Control not Poison Control. That's where I must have gone wrong last year . . .

Try, try, try.

2009-12-22T11:46:00.001-08:00

BUTCHER, BAKER, CANDLESTICK MAKER

2009-12-22T11:05:00.000-08:00

When my daughters were little, they thought I was AMAZING. I explained to them that before I was a mommy I worked at the State Capitol. In kid-understanding I was who? Yep, the GOVERNOR! Then, I worked for a law firm downtown for several years. Once again, I was what? Yep, a LAWYER! Then, I obtained the best job (second to mommying) in the world working for INCREDIBLE doctors. You know where I'm going with this one. Yep, I'm an official M.D. according to my young daughters. Well, I broke the news to them that no, I wasn't the governor, only a worker bee who worked for other worker bees; and no, I wasn't a lawyer, I only worked for foul-mouthed, cranky attorneys on the night shift so my daughters didn't have to go to daycare; and no, I am not an OB/GYN doctor, although give me a list of symptoms and I can diagnose "icky" things sometimes pretty darn accurately! Bless my children's hearts for thinking their mother was all that and more. But while thinking about these high expectations, mommying kind of includes all of these titles. Mommies govern the household until dad gets home; mommies definitely argue cases and beg for a recess; and no one does more M.D.ing than a mommy. So yes, I can say I've governed, lawyered and doctored along with the best of them. Who says we can't be everything???? (at least our kids can think we can . . .)
Sincerely,
Laurie Boogert, M.D., Esq., Governor ad Domus

WHO WOULD'VE GUESSED????!!!

2009-12-17T10:25:00.001-08:00

So on October 31, 2009 my Tarzan lost his job. Now, up until this point, I'd say our 26 year marriage on a scale of 1 to 10 was probably a 3 to 4. Not great communication, not much working together, we'd be nice but probably could have been a lot nicer to one another. Crankiness was often among the mix of said relationship. Well, a month passed and guess what happened? TRANSFORMATION. UTTER TRANSFORMATION. Now, I can tell you, it would be nice for him to find a job. But the miraculous thing is we've decided we actually like each other again! I don't know whether it was the stress component of his work or what but it's been a truly amazing thing to see! My kids can't believe the change and the whole relationship thing is working beautifully! I wouldn't wish a lost job on anyone in this economy, but if there was ever a blessing to come out of a something like this, yay for this hardship's reward! Hopefully the new year will bring a job but keep Tarzan's transformation. I want to shout from the roof top that this Jane loves her Tarzan!

DEAR SANTA:

2009-12-08T09:16:00.001-08:00

So Molly (my 16 year old) gave me her Christmas list. The older they get, the less fun the list gets! No barbie to buy, no GOTTA HAVE IT toy. It made me remember my GOTTA HAVE IT toys! One of my favorite was my Chrissy doll (for me) and Kay got Velvet. The only stress that I had back then was waiting for Christmas Eve to come and waiting to see Rudolph's nose light up in the sky (yep, in Wyoming his schnoz can be seen in the dark of night). Now, the stress is finding something my kids want that they'll actually be excited for (it's just not the same once they pass that certain stage). I can get a smile and a thanks but no hysterical YAYYYYY. I've even gotten to the point where we go to the mall, they pick out what they want and I tell them to forget this evening of shopping, wrap up the presents and that's what's for Christmas. I've tried picking out the girls' clothes and they are always returned once I finally find the receipt. One year my darlings were laughing hysterically at what I picked out. I went to Victoria's Secret and asked the sales girl who was eighteen to tell me which PJs she thought my girls would like (ages 14, 18, 22). She picked out the coolest PJs (i thought) which were not inexpensive and I purchased these cool PJs. Well, Christmas Eve arrived and I was so excited for them to open up their pajamas. They opened up their gift, looked at each other, looked at me and broke out into hysteria. They'd never seen anything so hideous in their life, or so they said. Hence, I gathered up ALL of the Victoria Secret Reject PJs, took them back to said store, and will never pick out another item of clothing for ANY OF THEM. I thought I had good taste . . . obviously it's just in my mouth.

I GIVE THANKS . . .

2009-11-25T20:39:00.000-08:00

I love Thanksgiving. No, not just for the fabulous banquet meal my mother prepares (although that is a big plus), but also for giving me a reason to reflect on all I'm thankful for. So here goes. Snooze if you'd like, I just wanted to get it down for journaling purposes for when my Alzheimer's is diagnosed.

I'm thankful for many things this year. I'm thankful for my new grandson, Nixon, and for the amazing blessing of being a grandma. I'm thankful for Heidi and for what a great mom she is. Nixon is one lucky little fella to have her! I'm grateful for my son-in-law Peter for being such a wonderful husband and fabulous dad. Nixon gets so excited when he walks through the door at the end of the day! I'm thankful for Jill and for the smiles and laughter that she brings into our home. She'll do anything for anyone and has a heart of gold. I'm thankful for my Molly and the way she is so thoughtful and kind and doesn't mind (too terribly much) being seen with her stalking mother. I'm thankful to Kevin for providing so well for our family. He worries tirelessly and I want him to know he's done a FABULOUS job at taking care of us. I'm thankful for my posse (Baxter, Scooter and Marley) even though I can't even go to the bathroom without them on my heels. I'm thankful for wonderful sisters, Kay and Elaine, who are my best friends in the world. We tease relentlessly and laugh until we wet our pants (which is getting more frequent the older we get!). I'm thankful for the best parents in the world who taught me how to serve and how to love. I'm thankful for such amazing friends who are always there for me. LDS forever! (Laurie*Denise*Shirley) And to one of my best friends, Lana, I will miss you terribly even though you're only moving twenty miles away! You've always been the shoulder I could cry on and I love you like a sister! I'm thankful for my calling in Special Needs and for all of my Special Needs girls and both Karens who have become good friends. So basically, my life is bounteously full and rich of blessings that you can't put a price tag on. I could go on and on with people who have blessed my life but the list would be endless. So, with a grateful heart I welcome Thanksgiving Day 2009.

GOING THROUGH PUBERTY AT 46?

2009-11-08T17:22:00.000-08:00

Okay, there is a utube video that is SO GROSS. It's like an accident that you drive by and HAVE to look at. Well, this video (about four minutes long) keeps playing over in my mind when not otherwise occupied (which happens quite a bit). If you search utube for "world's biggest zit" it's a video of a girl pinching a zit on the back of some guy. Okay, it's the sickest thing you've ever seen. You totally have to see it. You'll want to vomit but it's worth the upset stomach. So, I showed Heidi the video (she loves to get zits, so she TOTALLY loved it.) Well, the next morning, I woke up with two zits. Teen-age type zits. Puberty-causing zits. I couldn't believe it. So, I'm going to try the "singing something in my head" game instead viewing the zit popping episode in my mind. I can't let this happen at age 46. Too many other things go by the way side in middle age. Acne CANNOT be an issue. So, view the video because it is truly something to see. But then watch something else that will overkill this in your mind. Like an episode of The Office. Even an annoying song that you can't get out of your head. Anything so you won't wake up with a high school face and be paranoid that when anyone looks at you they are ONLY looking at your zit.

BTW, if I don't mention anything about my wanna-be-thiness, it means it wasn't a good week and my grade, well, let's just say I sluffed the whole damn week.

The Circle of My Life

2009-11-02T19:10:00.000-08:00

Just when I feel like I'm getting on top of doing things right, trying to stay motivated, just begining to do things a tiny bit better, what comes along? Something or some things to sabotage it. It's in the form of a holiday, birthday, season, reason, etc. Yep, I did start doing well. Then BAM. Trauma, stress, sadness, more stress and, last but not least, HALLOWEEN. I love Halloween Day but it is full of temptation! Preparing the fam's favorite food for this has all of the makings of failure (in the diet world, i mean). Success in the kitchen equals failure on the diet front in my world. Homemade buttermilk scones. Can't pass that up. At least my friend Shirley did bring veggies to offset the ridiculously high caloric content of said scones. Bless her heart for trying. "Trying" being the operative word.

Well, November is here. Well, I'll try, try, try once again. At least until Thanksgiving. Then I'll start it all over again. It's the circle of my life. A circle divided into little pie shaped pieces. Of course, it's pie.

MENTAL PICTURES - KEEP THE GOOD ONES

2009-10-24T07:42:00.000-07:00

This week was a very emotionally draining week. Heidi's brother-in-law, Robison, was killed while longboarding on Thursday afternoon. While sitting in the hospital waiting room cuddling Nixon while Heidi and Peter were in with Robi, I had lots of time to sit and think. Now, I'll tell you one of my talents. My simpleton mind can actually re-play funny sitcoms. Yep, I've seen them that often. I reflected on an episode of "Everybody Loves Raymond". The one where Marie stands up at Robert and Amy's wedding and says that she is afraid he is making a mistake by getting married. At the reception, Ray is making a toast to the still dumbfounded couple and says that they should remember this day by "editing". Remember the good things and edit out the bad things. I think that is good advice. I think remembering all of the good things we have in our life and not dwelling on the negative is the best thing for me to do. It even applies to my dogs. It's easy to get mad when they've had an accident (okay, not an accident but a canine conscious decision to pee or poop) but they're my posse and are with me more than anyone else in the world. It's easy to just dwell on being ticked off or hurt or offended. My sister, Ruthie says "you can't offend me; I have a teenager". I like that and it does ring true for me as well. So, in my quest for happiness I will dwell on the good, not the bad. So, this week's grade on my wannabethin is a C. Went to the gym three times and that's what I'll dwell on. Not the fast food chain that my car just naturally drives to. If there's a smart car, it's my camry. It knows what I'm craving, dammit. It's like it reads my mind. This week, I'll try to change my thought pattern so it will take me to the gym a little more and McDonald's a little less.

MY EXERCISE BUDDIES!

2009-10-15T12:07:00.000-07:00

Well, I finally showed up TWICE in two days to where my check finds its way each month. Yep, I went to the gym. Couldn't have made it through the grueling thirty minutes without my good friends encouraging me on my way. I forget how energized they make me feel! So, thanks to Justin, Christina, Gwen, Jesse and Fergie. You made my work out possible! So far this week's grade is looking pretty good.

THE MALL = MY PERSONAL HELL

2009-10-12T17:31:00.000-07:00

I went to the mall with Molly to find the finishing touches on her homecoming outfit. I dashed into a few of the "not-for-thin-folk" stores. You know the ones I'm talking about. You want to slink in and slink out unnoticed. Transfer your purchase to another bag. Rip the tags off (size tags as well) and not think about it until the next time you need something new. I scanned the merchandise, groaned and left with only the feeling of defeat. Argh! And those mirrors in the stores? Can I say, I think they put an additional 20 pounds on me. They're not very flattering. I swear, when I wake up in the morning and put on my make up, I don't look the same as I do when I'm in a store and looking in a mirror. I swear, my face does not look that big at home. I swear, you could land a plane on it. Okay, I'm exaggerating a bit but only a bit.

So, last week was another failure. Two in a row. We're done with the "F"s. Yep, this week will be a good one. This will be the start of an "A" week. Keep your fingers and toes crossed. I've had enough humiliation. Blogging about failure is not fun. I want to be able to blog about SUCCESS!!!!

MY LOVE AFFAIR

2009-10-05T09:02:00.000-07:00

Yep, I said it. Love affair. It's out there. I've been having a love affair on and off for the last twenty-something years. How could it go on so long knowing the evil side of this sin? Well, simply put, my lover's name is BUTTER. It's the secret key ingredient of every to-die-for sauce. If there's a wonderful cookie out there, it's always made with the B-word. I do occasionally cheat on said butter with "I can't believe it's not butter" but I always go back because I KNOW IT'S NOT BUTTER. It brings me joy and then down to utter despair when apprehensively setting foot on the scale. BUTTER and his best friend, CHEESE, always know how to get to me. They know my weaknesses and prey on said weaknesses. So I started a new diet on October 1st. Well, by October 2nd, my lover had me once again. In many forms. In homemade caramel apples, on top of a delicious waffle, spread on a hot roll. I feel like such a butter whore. I'm checking to see if there are any BUTTER ANONYMOUS groups out there because I don't think I'm the only one.

As for my diet, well, obviously with my fling (from above), it set me back, kind of way back. No more caramel apples until Halloween Day. (for tradition's sake). It's never good to start a diet on the start of a long weekend (UEA, or whatever it's called now). Who am I kidding. It's never good to start a diet on any day of the week, but hopefully this week I'll have more good days than a string of bad ones. So, diet grade for this week: D-.

THINGS I KNOW . . .

2009-09-28T19:49:00.000-07:00

They say if you want to write a book (or a blog, in my case) write about what you KNOW. Hmm, this is what I know. I KNOW every point for every food in the Weight Watcher program. I KNOW how disgusting prepared diet foods can be. I KNOW that chocolate donuts will increase the size of M.A. (my backside said politely). I KNOW IT ALL. Unfortunately, M.A. doesn't reflect said knowledge of these things I KNOW. I've read The Zone, I've read Dr. Phil and no, Dr. Phil, IT'S NOT WORKING FOR ME. I know Phen/Fen worked, unfortunately it doesn't work for the FDA. I've been bribed with new wardrobes and trips. What will it take? I wasn't sexually molested as a child or teen. There wasn't any dysfunction in my growing up years. I just like fattening food! Sorry, plain yogurt does not taste like sour cream and fat free cheese does not melt like regular cheese. I've done the "searching my soul" for the reasons why I choose the foods I do. Mmmm, I come up empty (or full, as the case may be) on that one.

October 1st is going to be my new START date. That's the day when I will begin to do things I don't necessarily like to do, i.e., go to the gym where that check is written out to each month and eat healthier. You know, the favorite dieter saying make it a "lifestyle change". I hate that term but I'm not going to HATE. I'm going to EMBRACE. Now, if I succeed in my first 24 hours, I'm going to blog about it. If I fail, I'll also blog. I'll look like a weakling, but hey, I'm trying to get back to that number that's on my driver's license. It's been about 20 years since it's been accurate, but hey, if the DMV didn't question it, who are we to?

So my blog will contain my successes, my failures. Here's my list of abbreviations so I don't have to write them all out:

CALS - CALORIES (duh)
H20 - WATER INTAKE (double duh)
M.A. - MY ASS (sorry mom, I mean my back side)
EXR - EXERCISE
F.L. - FOOD LOG

My goal date is April 15, 2010. I always dread that day, as does everyone who has to pay to live in the land of the free. I'm shooting for 75 pounds (in six and a half months) but any loss will be my success. Hopefully, it will be a positive journey. I have to remember to EMBRACE and NOT HATE. (i should make that my mantra).

Here I go . . .

WANNA BE WHY???

2009-09-23T17:49:00.000-07:00

My life has been a conglomeration of WANNA BEs.

EXAMPLE:

I WANNA BE OLDER

I WANNA BE YOUNGER

I WANNA BE SHORTER

I WANNA BE COOL

I WANNA BE BLONDE

I WANNA BE THIN

I WANNA BE MARRIED

I WANNA BE A MOMMY

and so it goes. Well, I did get older. Never got younger. Being taller than the jocks in junior high AND high school is definitely not cool. Tried to be blonde, too expensive of upkeep on the roots. Only been thin for about ten minutes (Phen-Fen). I did get married and got my Mommy Badge (the best WANNA-BE there is).

So now i'm in that mid-life phase of life and I still feel like a kid. I still can't figure out how to wear mascara so I don't look like a five year old applied it. Lipstick looks silly on me. Oh well, maybe after another forty-something years I'll have figured out the art of make-up application.

Until that time, I WANNA BE a good mommy, a good nana, a good wife, a good sister, a good daughter, and a good friend. Mastering make-up application and the wish for futuristic Phen/Fen will hopefully not be too far away.

So, my pursuit of wanna-bes will continue.