Tarzan's Folly

So last Sunday, Molly, me and Tarzan were a few minutes late to church. The opening song had just started. It was a farewell and so it was pretty packed. Molly and I looked to our "regular spot" and it was taken. Tarzan had to make a pit stop and so we went ahead and found seats in the front-center of the chapel. Well, Tarzan, with all of the grace of a monkey in a china store, went to our regular spot, climbed over (in front of) an elderly gentleman, plopped down, put his arm around a woman and squeezed her knee. He then looked into her face and saw that no, it wasn't me. Molly looks at me and says "what is dad doing?" Well, the horror on his face was priceless. Probably the horror on her face would have been twice that. Two rows of people saw what was going on and were pretty much hysterical through the opening prayer. And the question is, did he get up and move? Nope. Just texted the bishop and said "sorry I didn't know it was your wife."

Afterwards, I saw Diane (the bishop's wife) and said, ooh, now you know, no givesies backsies, right? He's yours!

An entertaining sabbath story I want to keep for posterity!

MY FAVORITE THINGS #2

Tarzan surprised me this year with an after-Christmas gift of a Kindle.

I love to read. So very much. More than almost anything.

And I mean ANYTHING.

Not one of my daughters has caught this obsession!

I think it started because growing up in a small town,

in the summer there wasn't tons to do.

We went to the library. A lot. We went swimming. A lot.

You alternate the two, and you get a lot of swimming and reading

done in the summertime. Perfect summertime activities.

Anyway, so yes, I still do love the library,

the book sections of Costco and Barnes & Noble,

but I love my Kindle a bit more.

With the push of a button, I can download FOR FREE

all of the classics I wish to read.

For one dollar to ten I can download others.

So Ruthie, my oldest sissie, suggested my first

"purchased" book be "Same Kind of Different As Me".

It's a true story, written by Ron Hall and Denver Moore.

I love love love this book. I'm so very glad it was the

first "big" purchase (I think five or six bucks) because

it was worth every penny. I'll read it again. And again.

So that's how I'm spending these cold winter nights.

8:30 and I'm in my onesie pajamas with my Kindle

in my own little bit of Heaven!

MY FAVORITE THINGS

Okay, Oprah has her favorite things. I have mine.

My son-in-law says I exaggerate. Maybe I do, a bit.

Like the time I took him to the rib place that I promised he would just die for.

Well, he only thought they were "okay".

He thinks it would be great to be me because to me everything is AMAZING.

I don't really believe that. It's just that when I find something I LOVE,

I want EVERYONE to know about it.

So now, what I want everyone to know about, are the PJs

I bought for my family for Christmas Eve.

Let me preface it by the negative so you don't think I think everything

about them are "amazing".

I was not too keen on their price.

or when I had to return a few of them for a different size and had to pay

an additional shipping price, a whopping $14.

That is a lot of moola at that time of year, heck at any time of year.

Then I zipped up my onezies. Yep, I said it. Polar fleece onezies on my

5'10 x and almost 5'10" frame. It just felt like one big love hug. I never

want to get out of these. I'm afraid they'll have to bury me in them.

I come home from work and zip them up and good golly it's the best feeling in the world.

I swore after I paid the high price for them and exhorbitant shipping charge

that I would never buy from the company again.

I digress. I will. Again and again. I will never be without these jammies.

I will have them for as long as I live.

So, if you want to have a big warm hug, ignore the exhorbitant

prices, take a deep breath, and order from jumpin' jammerz.com.

P.S. My husband calls them my chastity jammies. I don't know whether that's

a good thing or bad thing.

(P.S. #2: Today was a chilly winter day. I was leaving church and excited to go home and throw on my jammies because it was so cold today. I walked in the door and Tarzan was laying on the couch with MY JAMMIES on. I was confused, the dogs were even MORE confused. My jammies are pink with dog paw prints and smell of me, I'm sure. They didn't like seeing him in them, and neither did I! I bought him a pair with guitars on them at Christmas time. Well, apparently they challenged his manhood so he made me send them back. NOW, mine look awfully warm and cozy so he decided to try mine. Yeah, that's right, he WISHES he'd a been more sure of his testosterone. Needless to say, it was a struggle, but I did get my jammies back.)

RESURRECTION TIME!

No, I'm not talking about Easter and the "ultimate" resurrection. I'm talking about the bringing back to life something that's been in the corner of the basement for way over fifteen years. drum roll please . . . my treadmill. It broke down and I could never bring myself to give it away or throw it away. So, this last weekend, Tarzan BROUGHT IT BACK TO LIFE!!!! Of course, the digital stuff doesn't work, so I can't see how SLOW I GO but I'm okay with that. I won't be able to tell if my burning legs are only burning about two calories a minute and I'm okay with that too. It would probably be depressing so I'm thinking ignorance is bliss. Two days now in a row that I've given it a work out (it has to be a work out on it as well as me). They say to work out with a friend and I'm considering this treadmill my very old friend. I hope to find time for this friend several times a week. Since my April 15th goal is coming up, and I've lost . . . okay, NOTHING, at least I'll have started to exercise a bit. Hey, anything is better than nothing, right? So, bright and early, think of me, with my loud (fifteen years ago they were not quiet) friend with calves burning. Go back to sleep for me, please.

PATRIDGE FAMILY CHEESEY? REALLY?

So last weekend Tarzan and I and Molly took a quick trip to Las Vegas. En route, I was the Entertainment Director (ipod music management) and I thought I was doing a really great job. Tarzan took a phone call that was fairly long (thirty minutes) and so I put on the stuff that he doesn't care for but I like until he was finished. This would include Ambrosia, Carly Simon, Madonna, etc. He got off the phone and I immediately put on his driving faves, i.e., Kenny Chesney, The Eagles, and his all time favorite - Billy Joel. Then I switched to a few of my favorite oldies, in particular, a number by The Rasberries called "Go All the Way." Okay, this has some great rock and roll parts in it that I really love. What was his comment?

Tarzan: Who is this? (in a snarly way)

Me: The Rasberries

Tarzan: Hesitation, then "This is SO PARTRIDGE FAMILY CHEESEY!"

Me: "But what about this part - it's so cool."

Tarzan: "It's SO CHEESY. Do you really like this stuff?"

Me: I'd like to introduce myself. I'm Laurie Russell.

Tarzan: No sound, only rolls his eyes.

So, apparently my husband does not know the full gamut of music that I adore. My ipod has everything from Bay City Rollers (MAJOR EYE ROLL), to AC/DC and everything in between. I quit my job as Entertainment Director and turned the ipod over to Molly. Apparently, she doesn't have PARTRIDGE FAMILY CHEESEY TASTE.

And, just for the record, I do not nor ever will have David Cassidy OR the Partridge Family on my ipod.

Nixon

MY LATEST DRUG OF CHOICE

Wow. I've recently come to the conclusion that I have a very ADDICTIVE personality. I just didn't realize it until my latest drug-of-choice caught hold of me and didn't let go. What drug you ask? Yarn. Yeah, I know, it's way granny-like, but on a recent girls weekend one of my BFFs taught me how to make the CUTEST hats and now it's become an addiction. I can't go to bed without having made one. I think about different colors/types of yarn during the day. If I come within 100 yards of Roberts or Michaels or JoAnns I'm toast. I lose control. But aren't these the cutest things EVER?!!! I figure it's healthier than true drugs or alcohol but I'm not sure it's much less expensive! And the embellishments. They are like the icing on the cake. Oh, great, now I'm thinking about cake. Anyway, I'll post a few so you can start to understand WHY I CAN'T STOP.

p.s. That's why I've been so lame about blogging. It's the drug taking over. Any spare time I have you can find a crochet needle in my clutches.