LET THE RESOLUTIONS FLY (and hopefully not nosedive into oblivion)

How can I formulate my resolutions into something that will actually stick around in my Christmas-goodie infested brain? Make resolutions that I CAN stick with. Here's my first three to start the year off with a BANG.

RESOLUTION #1: Only have gravy or other fattening sauce on "special" occasions. (and no, just because SA-TUR-DAY has three syllables does NOT make it a special occasion)

RESOLUTION #2: Absolutely no eating past 12:00 midnight or before

1:00 a.m.

RESOLUTION #3: Remember it's Portion Control not Poison Control. That's where I must have gone wrong last year . . .

Try, try, try.

BUTCHER, BAKER, CANDLESTICK MAKER

When my daughters were little, they thought I was AMAZING. I explained to them that before I was a mommy I worked at the State Capitol. In kid-understanding I was who? Yep, the GOVERNOR! Then, I worked for a law firm downtown for several years. Once again, I was what? Yep, a LAWYER! Then, I obtained the best job (second to mommying) in the world working for INCREDIBLE doctors. You know where I'm going with this one. Yep, I'm an official M.D. according to my young daughters. Well, I broke the news to them that no, I wasn't the governor, only a worker bee who worked for other worker bees; and no, I wasn't a lawyer, I only worked for foul-mouthed, cranky attorneys on the night shift so my daughters didn't have to go to daycare; and no, I am not an OB/GYN doctor, although give me a list of symptoms and I can diagnose "icky" things sometimes pretty darn accurately! Bless my children's hearts for thinking their mother was all that and more. But while thinking about these high expectations, mommying kind of includes all of these titles. Mommies govern the household until dad gets home; mommies definitely argue cases and beg for a recess; and no one does more M.D.ing than a mommy. So yes, I can say I've governed, lawyered and doctored along with the best of them. Who says we can't be everything???? (at least our kids can think we can . . .)
Sincerely,
Laurie Boogert, M.D., Esq., Governor ad Domus

WHO WOULD'VE GUESSED????!!!

So on October 31, 2009 my Tarzan lost his job. Now, up until this point, I'd say our 26 year marriage on a scale of 1 to 10 was probably a 3 to 4. Not great communication, not much working together, we'd be nice but probably could have been a lot nicer to one another. Crankiness was often among the mix of said relationship. Well, a month passed and guess what happened? TRANSFORMATION. UTTER TRANSFORMATION. Now, I can tell you, it would be nice for him to find a job. But the miraculous thing is we've decided we actually like each other again! I don't know whether it was the stress component of his work or what but it's been a truly amazing thing to see! My kids can't believe the change and the whole relationship thing is working beautifully! I wouldn't wish a lost job on anyone in this economy, but if there was ever a blessing to come out of a something like this, yay for this hardship's reward! Hopefully the new year will bring a job but keep Tarzan's transformation. I want to shout from the roof top that this Jane loves her Tarzan!

DEAR SANTA:

So Molly (my 16 year old) gave me her Christmas list. The older they get, the less fun the list gets! No barbie to buy, no GOTTA HAVE IT toy. It made me remember my GOTTA HAVE IT toys! One of my favorite was my Chrissy doll (for me) and Kay got Velvet. The only stress that I had back then was waiting for Christmas Eve to come and waiting to see Rudolph's nose light up in the sky (yep, in Wyoming his schnoz can be seen in the dark of night). Now, the stress is finding something my kids want that they'll actually be excited for (it's just not the same once they pass that certain stage). I can get a smile and a thanks but no hysterical YAYYYYY. I've even gotten to the point where we go to the mall, they pick out what they want and I tell them to forget this evening of shopping, wrap up the presents and that's what's for Christmas. I've tried picking out the girls' clothes and they are always returned once I finally find the receipt. One year my darlings were laughing hysterically at what I picked out. I went to Victoria's Secret and asked the sales girl who was eighteen to tell me which PJs she thought my girls would like (ages 14, 18, 22). She picked out the coolest PJs (i thought) which were not inexpensive and I purchased these cool PJs. Well, Christmas Eve arrived and I was so excited for them to open up their pajamas. They opened up their gift, looked at each other, looked at me and broke out into hysteria. They'd never seen anything so hideous in their life, or so they said. Hence, I gathered up ALL of the Victoria Secret Reject PJs, took them back to said store, and will never pick out another item of clothing for ANY OF THEM. I thought I had good taste . . . obviously it's just in my mouth.